Santa, WHY YOU NO come home?

Disclaimer : "This post is a complete work of fiction. Any resemblance to any actual fictitious person, alive or dead is entirely coincidental. In no way, does it mean to insult or otherwise mock any religion, beliefs or sentiments."

Also, everything written on this post is an outcome of the lamest and most useless things that have happened to my mind. It has no sense, meaning or logic. So please read on, only if you have nothing more important to do, than reading this. :P

Yep, it's done.

Heaves a sigh of relief.

Okay. This year, it was the first time that 'Santa' didn't leave a neatly wrapped brown package below my pillow. This immediately got on my nerves. Without a moment's second thought, I stormed out of my room and gave a furious look to my Mom, inquiring about my Christmas present. 

Childish? No? Okay, read on.

She told me to sit back for a while, and ponder over the reason, as to why Santa didn't turn up this time. Well, I came up with these daft reasons. Had she been reading this post right now, she would have stood here crossing her arms, reciprocating me the same look that I had given her in the morning! Anyway, here we go. :|


- After all these years of hard work and struggle, Santa eventually made up his mind to take a break. So he just decided to chuck the big red bag and his sledge to take the day night off. I wouldn't be surprised if someone found him sitting on a comfortable armchair by the fire, munching popcorn over the nail biting India-Pakistan game that followed! 


- Because of the consistently suffering economy of America, and the unflappable growth of inflation, Santa eventually ran out of his pocket money and  could no longer buy gifts for any poor soul! 


- This year, Santa decided to ignore India altogether from the fear of being mugged and raped in the country's capital itself. 



- Santa came across the film 'Bad Santa' and he actually wanted to try and see how bad can a Santa really be. (Shoots oneself for writing this.)

- Santa finally had his big breakthrough, a change in career from his monotonous job. Yes, he got appointed as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. And we all know how each one met their end before Christmas! :P


- Or maybe one reindeer, out of the dozen pulling his sledge, resigned because of the over worked body and rheumatic knees, and decided to spend some family time in it's last days! :P  



- Owing to all these reasons, his continually deteriorating health, resignation of all his reindeer and due to his many other personal problems, Santa ultimately decided to call it a day. If the God has to retire from cricket, so does Santa. Yes, the Grinch finally won. Bad metaphor again.

And you know what, that's it. Several other things loomed up inside my idle head, but it'll be in best interests of everyone that I won't reveal them. :D Thanks for the read, and I can only hope that my ability to write absurd things is still intact!

Last but not the least, I really love Santa Claus, the Christmas celebrations, carols, fruit cakes, wine and everything that compliments Christmas. I respect Christianity, and that's proven because I went to a Church on Christmas. 

This post only means that the little child somewhere inside a 20 (almost 21) year old guy, has to grow up and move on; to start thinking about the things going on around him, apart from the fantasy world that he has lived in so far. 

Also, R.I.P. to my sense of humor, which recently passed away after I wrote this.